Apparently we are not the only ones who are getting a little tired of all those YouTube videos of shirtless kids in airports screaming during TSA pat-downs. The agency recognizes that this doesn't look too good and is really pissing people off, so starting in August the TSA is going to use a radical new screening method based on the Israel system of pinpointing terrorists. And if there's anything we know about Israel, it's that they are the bad-ass experts at snuffing out suicide-bombing lunatics. Don't mess with Israel. They are like The Fonz of the Middle East.
I hope you are ready for this because if you thought going through Customs was a pain in the ass now, get ready for it to be even more awkward, uncomfortable, and intrusive. When you go to the airport this week be prepared for the TSA agents to ...
... talk to you some more.
Yup, it's going to be even worse than being on a play date with a parent you can't stand. Transportation Security Administration chief John Pistole announced this week that actually having a convo with parents to try to figure out why the kid keeps setting off the detector may work just as well as putting the tyke through a strip search. Now that's a brainstorm! Best of all, it will cost all of us taxpayers less than all that fancy technology that takes pictures of you naked and reads your mind or whatever.
So the upside: Your kid may not be publicly humiliated so much. Airports are already staffed with a number of "behavioral detection officers," who are already watching you as you stand there in line, trying to assess whether you look nervous because you are not sure if the bottle of Suave shampoo in your carry-on breaks any liquids size rules, or if it's because you are a maniac plotting world destruction.
The downside: You may get racially profiled. Sorry, this is just the way it goes, Israel admits that, too. So while we may not see as many screaming kids or outraged breastfeeders, get ready for a whole new crop of controversial videos that is sure to keep the hating on the TSA party going for many, many years to come.
I hope you are ready for this because if you thought going through Customs was a pain in the ass now, get ready for it to be even more awkward, uncomfortable, and intrusive. When you go to the airport this week be prepared for the TSA agents to ...
... talk to you some more.
So the upside: Your kid may not be publicly humiliated so much. Airports are already staffed with a number of "behavioral detection officers," who are already watching you as you stand there in line, trying to assess whether you look nervous because you are not sure if the bottle of Suave shampoo in your carry-on breaks any liquids size rules, or if it's because you are a maniac plotting world destruction.
The downside: You may get racially profiled. Sorry, this is just the way it goes, Israel admits that, too. So while we may not see as many screaming kids or outraged breastfeeders, get ready for a whole new crop of controversial videos that is sure to keep the hating on the TSA party going for many, many years to come.
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